The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
