My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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