We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
