I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
