I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
