I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
