I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
