If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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