so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
