my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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