If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's blow job season.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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