No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize