Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
