So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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