Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
