Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
