One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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