what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
