I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
