Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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