someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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