she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
