You don't have asthma, your pregnant
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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