Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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