they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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