I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am naked and annoyed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
