He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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