I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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