the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
