Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
