she looked like the before picture.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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