I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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