Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
