what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
