why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
