I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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