I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
