we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
