I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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