I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
