I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
