I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
