Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
