I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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