nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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