I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
