I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
