No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
