Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
