I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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