Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
