I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
