its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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