I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
