was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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