Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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