the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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