I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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