No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
