everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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