Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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