yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
