I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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